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123bubblegum123 · 05-14-2009, 09:47 AM

hey,

welcome to SR and congrats on getting sober! when i first started really trying to get clean in august of this past year, i had a boyfriend who wasn't really an alcoholic but he certainly loved to party. he tried his best to be supportive of me getting clean, BUT we had been party buddies and i couldn't help but get jealous of him when he'd party. the only way i could seriously get and stay clean was to break up with him and cut him out of my life. now that i've been clean a bit, i realize that i really wouldn't want to date him now anyway BUT what i might suggest is to take some time away from your fiancee. Make a tight group of sober friends from AA or church or whatever and occupy your time. You doing sober activities that you find fun will keep you from having the time to argue about your fiancee's drinking habbits and it will also let you focus on your own recovery rather than on these obstacles.

If worse comes to worse, you can always say you need a temporary break from the relationship and that you'll revisit getting back together in a while or after you get through the 12 steps. Maybe then you'll be in a healthier, more spiritual place and be emotionally and mentally strong enough to realize that there are non-alcoholics in the world who enjoy their brew.

Rach

05-14-2009, 09:47 AM	#2 (permalink)
123bubblegum123 it's a movie, you're the star Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 356	hey, welcome to SR and congrats on getting sober! when i first started really trying to get clean in august of this past year, i had a boyfriend who wasn't really an alcoholic but he certainly loved to party. he tried his best to be supportive of me getting clean, BUT we had been party buddies and i couldn't help but get jealous of him when he'd party. the only way i could seriously get and stay clean was to break up with him and cut him out of my life. now that i've been clean a bit, i realize that i really wouldn't want to date him now anyway BUT what i might suggest is to take some time away from your fiancee. Make a tight group of sober friends from AA or church or whatever and occupy your time. You doing sober activities that you find fun will keep you from having the time to argue about your fiancee's drinking habbits and it will also let you focus on your own recovery rather than on these obstacles. If worse comes to worse, you can always say you need a temporary break from the relationship and that you'll revisit getting back together in a while or after you get through the 12 steps. Maybe then you'll be in a healthier, more spiritual place and be emotionally and mentally strong enough to realize that there are non-alcoholics in the world who enjoy their brew. Rach __________________ i'm just a little girl with big dreams.