Linkmeister

I'm speechless too and in tears as I read this as this is my recovering ABF to a tee. The other night, once again, he gave me grief because I can't seem to kick the smoking habit and that has become an issue for him. I have cut way back on it - do not smoke in the house and things like that but there are times - mainly when I am stressed out that I do smoke more than I should - I am fully aware of it but like any addiction, it is a hard habit to break. It seems that whenever something does not go right for him - something beyond our control, that is when I smoke more and he lashes out at this.

It happened Friday night (again) and there's no arguing with him when he gets like this-he clams right up and shuts down, shutting me out in the process, trying to goad me into losing my temper and lashing out. I have tried so hard to put it down to his version of recovery (no AA meetings or anything like that since he got out of rehab and one relapse) but today, for the first time since we have been together, I sat down and cried - he went to see his mother without me (we had planned to go together) not even telling me he was going or taking the pictures of us with him. As much as I have tried to be objective about this, there's no denying the hurt of our alcoholics cause us when they get like this.

So, I am going to read and reread this again and bookmark it - coming to SR today was something I was fated to do to read this thread and find some comfort in it.