Sweets79

I don't know where else to turn right now...For those of you who have been supporting me since I joined up last week...you might have read one post I made about my living situation...I don't want to go into too many details about it...But I have no where else to live right now, and I am not financially stable, so I am living with a roommate...I just got home from getting flowers and a gift for my Mother for Mother's Day...I was feeling pretty good this morning, but that ended quickly...We have had many fights and disagreements for a long time, but today pardon my expression, the sh*t hit the fan...This person just likes to push my buttons so bad, even knowing I am starting therapy and will not be living here as soon as I get stronger.....it's getting crazy...I'm being talked down too, yelled at...you can't even argue with this person because it gets nowhere...I can't even geta word in edgwise, and there is SO much negative energy...I start screaming back, all this while trying to not pick up a drink...Today is 2 weeks sober, and today I feel like I am really going to lose it...I start therapy Monday, but in the meanwhile I am trying to figure out what to do with my living situation...My father is an alcoholic so I can't move back home until I get on my feet..and I just asked my only close friend if I could stay with her for awhile, because she is moving into a new place soon with 2 bedrooms, and she told me no...which shocked me...I can't believe this...My mom is asking her friend if I can stay with her for a few days, but her husband is bi-polar and he drinks too!!! I don't know if that would even be a healthy place for me to stay....I swear to God, I feel like I am losing my mind, and if there was ever a time I needed to pick up a drink it would be now...I am not saying this for pity or attention, you all know my posts aren't like that...I am just truly at my witts end, and just been sober 2 weeks...This is so early on to be taking on all this stress...and this is just part of what's going on...There's also other personal issues that have been stressing me out, but this is topping everything else because it effects my living, my state of mind...which will effect my therapy and me staying sober...Some days are bearable, and I told myself if I get upset just go in the bedroom, but I can't stay in there all day and it's just not feasable anymore....it's gotten to the point I don't know where to put myself...It's a small one bedroom apt...even if I go to a friends house or whatever, take a walk etc...I am coming back to this mess...How the hell am I gonna be able to live in this mess and concentrate on staying sober...Therapy is the only thing I am looking forward too....I know I can't move right now, but I don't know how I am going to get through living here until I am stronger in my sobriety...Thank you for listening.