Hi there again. Just had had someone ring me who attends a local meeting, however I have lost some of the enthusiasm for going to AA now in someways, I don't know I feel quite upset, almost like I could cry? They said they will meet me outside and tried to get me to go to another meeting and that they could get someone to pick me up but I felt pressured somewhat, though I'm sure the intentions were all good and I suppose they want to meet me outside of the meeting beforehand so that I definately attend and dont walk on by, which probably happens sometimes.
I am a little worried however that because of the fact that there will be many in the meetings who were at a very advanced stage of their alcoholism that this will somehow have the adverse effect on me and encourage me to start drinking again, almost giving life to that "niggling deathwish" alcohol gives me and that "look how much more drinking you can do" you ain't as bad as them thoughts. AAArrrrgggghhh, Maybe the realisation has hit me for the forst-time today that I DONT WANT TO BE AN ALCOHOLIC!!!!!!!!
