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Yes, the first 3 steps are decisions not action steps...I have left AA but I relate to your wanting the spiritual awakening, I have had many spiritual awakenings, none of them stopped me drinking.
I never used to understand the "fake it till you make it" thing, it means do the work without expecting anything, don't bother questioning the hows and whys just now, just do the work...and see what happens, I can see the value of that now. And if you are step 4 you are just beginning.
Like I say, I left AA but I can still see the value of working on my spiritual side and of doing things that I really don't want to do, working on my defects etc.
I think waiting for a spiritual awakening can be a red herring and can do more harm than good....like the Buddhists say, if you see the Buddha on the road, kill him. They mean if during your "practice" you find you have a mental image of enlightenment, "kill it".
__________________  . As from a fire aflame thousands of sparks come forth,
even so from the Creator an infinity of beings have life and to him return again.
-- Maitri Upanishads |