[hippyhippy]

I just kinda want you to know someone is listening. I know how awful it is to feel like everything is falling apart. There are so many 'can'ts' in your post and while I am sure that is how it feels, I bet the truth is far for from that. The difficulty with depression is it is so hard to see out of that black hole. It is hard to remember that we ever felt good or that we can feel good again.
When you say you don't deserve to belong here, do you mean here...sober recovery? Why would you think that? You are like the rest of us, we all deserve the support and care that SR gives.
When is mothers day for you? It is obviously a different time in UK as we have already had ours. Tell me what is so difficult about it? What can be done to make it easier?
You are not failing. You are finding things extremely tough just now and need to cut yourself a bit of slack. It seems to me you are giving yourself such a hard time.
Take care and keep talking.
Hippy
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