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I have to agree with Silla. Your story sounds so much like mine. My ex even went so far as to say to the court that I was going to commit suicide. I was at work the day he did that.
I have 2 children (not with him) so I guess he thought they would be taken away from me. But he did use my manic episodes against me and I would suppose he "won" in court.
I have come to the point where I have forgiven myself for whatever I perceive my part of the end of the marriage was. But I don't owe him anything. I owe myself a good, healthy, stable life which I am accomplishing finally after many years.
The only ones I feel sorry to are my parents and my children. But I show them by living my new life.
I wish you stability and happiness.
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