SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - recovering from bi-polar

zoomer · 05-01-2009, 06:10 AM

Over 4 years ago I had my last major manic attack. Ever sence then I have faithfully been taking my meds. The more "well" I get the more memories pop up of how crazy I was when I was in a mainic faze. I treated my ex husband like hell and put him through hell. Not saying living with him was stressful or hell it's self,but the majority of the crazy stuff was because of my being bi-polar. I sort of treat my recovery from bi-polar like i do my not drinking. Using the 12 steps for the process. Now I know drinking is different from bi-polar because of the different issues. I still feel guilt from some of the stuff I did while I was in a manic faze. Sometimes I feel that some of the stuff was not my fault because I'm bi-polar,but other times I feel like I could have had control over what I did. How do people deal with these feelings. Does anyone here ever feel guilty for some of the stuff they did while in a manic faze or depressive faze? I was wondering if I should make amends like I do in my 12 step recovery. I was in a messy divorce where my ex used my bi-polar against me. Funny though we where both heavy drinkers,but he did not use that against me. I'm still sort of hurt by the divorce being that he used something that I could not control until I was on medication against me. I had more moments being sane that I was being insane,but he made it out like I was insane all the time. So with that being said I was wondering if I owe him an amends. Do other people say I'm sorry for putting people through hell? We still see eachother everyday because we have kids in common and we get along,no fighting. I'm just afraid that If I say I'm sorry it will make him justify all the wrongs he did. I"m still sort of angry of how he went about the divorce. He never said he was sorry for the things he did in our marrage. So I was wondering if I should just let the feelings go being I could not help my bi-polar or is part of the recovery process for bi-polar is reconizing how crazy we where?

05-01-2009, 06:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
zoomer Gold Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: It's raining again! Posts: 2,495	recovering from bi-polar Over 4 years ago I had my last major manic attack. Ever sence then I have faithfully been taking my meds. The more "well" I get the more memories pop up of how crazy I was when I was in a mainic faze. I treated my ex husband like hell and put him through hell. Not saying living with him was stressful or hell it's self,but the majority of the crazy stuff was because of my being bi-polar. I sort of treat my recovery from bi-polar like i do my not drinking. Using the 12 steps for the process. Now I know drinking is different from bi-polar because of the different issues. I still feel guilt from some of the stuff I did while I was in a manic faze. Sometimes I feel that some of the stuff was not my fault because I'm bi-polar,but other times I feel like I could have had control over what I did. How do people deal with these feelings. Does anyone here ever feel guilty for some of the stuff they did while in a manic faze or depressive faze? I was wondering if I should make amends like I do in my 12 step recovery. I was in a messy divorce where my ex used my bi-polar against me. Funny though we where both heavy drinkers,but he did not use that against me. I'm still sort of hurt by the divorce being that he used something that I could not control until I was on medication against me. I had more moments being sane that I was being insane,but he made it out like I was insane all the time. So with that being said I was wondering if I owe him an amends. Do other people say I'm sorry for putting people through hell? We still see eachother everyday because we have kids in common and we get along,no fighting. I'm just afraid that If I say I'm sorry it will make him justify all the wrongs he did. I"m still sort of angry of how he went about the divorce. He never said he was sorry for the things he did in our marrage. So I was wondering if I should just let the feelings go being I could not help my bi-polar or is part of the recovery process for bi-polar is reconizing how crazy we where?