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Originally Posted by Overman  Codependency is largely a transgenerational phenomena. Its a learned pattern of behaviors thats passed down through the family. |
Dave that is so true...My mother has 2 brothers..One who was like my father and died about 5 years ago, which was an awful shock to me...and one who is a skitzophrenic..My grandmother always taught my mother and I never to talk back to him...never to stick up for ourselves...There were many times he would yell and mentally abuse my grandmother and she would just take it...Anything to not provoke him more..and many times he abused me mentally and showed signs that he had the capability of being violent (which he actually did try to get violent with me recently, now I stay away from him completely)..and I got the blame for it.. "Why did you provoke him, he's your uncle"...I didn't care I still used to yell back at him...but alot of times I had to bite my tongue...My mother learned that co-dependant behavior from my grandmother...always be quiet...and she was like that alot with my father, who is an alcoholic.They would argue, but I remember laying in bed at night and not being able to express how I really felt about him when he put my mother and I down...not being able to have a voice..Thank you for bringing up that point.