[introuble]

I have been sober since the 6th of April. I have been going to meetings, reading from three different books, have a sponsor, and feel like sh*t. Not physically but emotionally and spiritually. When I first started all of this, I was on cloud nine. I was ready to tackle all of these steps, so happy all the time, so damn positive. Then, slowly over the last week and a half or so, the reality sets in. This is really hard work, exhausting at times. Now, it's like the words in my books are foreign language at times. I read and reread items and really struggle to comprehend the words. So, last night after my meeting I started over (again) from the very beginning.

I was talking with a couple of gentlemen from my group after the meeting last night. Turns out that this is pretty normal progression of things that no one tells you about when you get started. It is pretty typical that you get that euphoric, "life is great and can't get any better" feeling in the beginning. Then, reality sets in that you are still living the same life. Only, now, you don't have your crutch to help you get through the day. You have to do it on your own. I am getting pretty good at living one day at a time. I have thought about alcohol, sometimes a lot but haven't had any real, true desires to buy it and consume it. And, I sure have dreamed about it a good bit.

Somewhere along the way, I keep hoping I will wake up one morning and feel that wonderful feeling again of feeling great. One day at a time, just one day.