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I was codependent for a long time. I didn't even know. I was also raised to keep the peace, it was like walking on eggshells at my house. Because my father had problems and my mother made sure he was taken care of. So we tiptoed around him. I was always cut down for sticking up for myself. My mother believed that your worth as a woman depended on how happy your husband was, and how clean your house was. What would the neighbors think. That kinda thing.
I was married to someone who was manipulative. When I tried to get away from him after 13 years of marriage, he made my life a living h e l l. I ended up in therapy and was shocked to find out that I was to blame for stuff he did to me. It was a whole new concept for me. I did alot of reading. Codepency books. I couldn't believe they described me. It was a long learning process and I still catch myself sometimes.
My husband now is much different. I pretty much do what I want. He actually asks me how my day was. That kinda thing. I'm still learning. At 44 I guess I'm making up for lost time. I don't get cut down by my husband. Even when I come home with new tattoos, he takes me as I am.
It's all about boundaries.
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