Wow well all I have to say is thanks everyone. Carol I did not know that was from AA - I'd have to say that's pretty awesome!
Judy, Question. I think I have had withdrawals before but those were extremely horrific after a whole week of drinking in Cancun - I've read about DTs and I'm positive thats what they were. I had one of those never-ending being in a dream, totally freaked out but when I woke up I was still in a dream, and it seemed to never end - I thought I was truly losing it. But I did not know the 2-3 days following a binge was considered withdrawals because I never really got too shaky or had cramps and spasms or threw up, i just laid around all day and put off everything I was supposed to do and watched movies and ate. You are probably right thanks for enlightening me!
Gravity I appreciate your philosophy that it's totally sociable to be a non-drinker too. I just need help embracing it when I've gone so long doing the opposite and it never seems to be fun if I'm not drinking.
SailorJohn thank you for your example and reminding me that this must be my choice and no one else's (with your quote).
I feel not so alone and I think with the extra support from someone who has already gone through and accomplished what I aim to, I will get to where I need to be.
It's ok to be a copy cat right (just as long as you copy the right cats
)
Well I read the Big Book going through one of those depression/hangovers a month or so back, and I can't say from personal experience, but from what I gather the reason it works is because you have the environment and association.
A lot of people think that information and technology is the answer and well if that worked, you could say, "Here's a CD/DVD on how to not be an alcoholic," and poof, you'd be cured. BUT that obviously does not work or we'd just be DOING it. I think (and again speaking from intuitive thought here) that it's because with AA you have the environment and association to share your experiences, pain, struggles, joys, hopes, desires, etc together.
Just like a church they go once a week and grow in their faith and relationships. THAT MAGNIFICATION of the human experience I believe is what makes it all possible.
Here is my only dilemma. And I know it's just fear or a lack of knowledge or maybe just apprehension and getting looked at in a different way, etc. but number one, where do I go for AA. I reside in Oceanside, California.
To Stobert, Joedris, and NavySteve, thank you, I've already made my mind up to talk to my SACO and have them schedule me for the 1-2 week course which I've heard is great if, of course, you actually want to be there. Obviously it does not look bad if you volunteer for it. On the other hand if I keep procrastinating and lying to myself then I will end up either having to go to it, or it will just be too late and I'll be dead.
I also have heard (and if someone could please elaborate on this) that alcohol stops you from maturing (like spirutually, mentally, and emotionally) so if I've been drinking this long and even though I think and people around me think I've got a good head on my shoulders and got a handle on things, I honestly have not matured since age 15??? Kind of baffling and scary don't know for sure it it's true.
Anyways I feel better today and although it's only 2 days of sobriety I ran 16 miles with my IPOD - zoned out to the world and kind of talked to my God and I feel a whole helluva lot better than earlier today and yesterday just a bit tired and not looking forward to the weekend coming because it means temptations to drink.
Thanks for the support, You all are incredible!
Henry