Thanks! Your answers touched me, especially yours geeko.... I felt the care all the way from Glasgow :ghug
I haven't gone to NA or AA. I have been thinking about it and of course have all my excuses for not going - oh I'm not that bad, I can do this on my own, I'm travelling a lot at the moment, I don't have time blah blah but its well yeah all excuses in the end I guess.
I think the crux of why I haven't gone to see a doc or gone to AA/NA is because a part of me doesn't want to accept that I will never take anything ever again.... when I start thinking like that I freak out.... so I take it one day at a time. Going to NA seems like a huge statement that I wont be able to take anything ever again - and the thought of that brings anxiety.
yet on the other hand I have accepted that and am excited about a new way of living.... its like there are two distinct contradictory ideas in my mind.
I feel like I'm staring the bull in the eyes at the moment.
