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McGowdog · 04-27-2009, 11:33 AM

Wow! If I were in your shoes, I'd probably have a resentment myself.

She doesn't seem like a beacon of spirituality just yet. That's the perfect example of a line in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 82;

"The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man (or woman, my addition) is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, 'Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin.?"

So, if she's still a tornado, I'd distance myself and family from her as best as possible, but, I'm no parent. I only have an opinion on that.

I don't know how long she's been sober, but clearing up the wreckage of our past can be like peeling an onion. Her awareness may not be all that and a bag of chips just yet.

If she stays on this path and if it takes and she truly recovers... and there's any hope that God will do for her what she cannot do for herself, then if she's slick enough to tear it down, she'll be slick enough to help build it back. Or, she'll stay sick and die someday... probably sooner than later.

But in the meantime, you can get free of your pain and resentment to her and I suggest you do JUST THAT for you and your children, not her.

Do you agree with that?

When I make ammends to someone, I say something to the effect; "I've done this, this, this, and this to you. Do you need to express to me how this has harmed you? What would you add that I might have ommited? What can I do to set these matters straight?"

I don't remember using the word "sorry" in an ammend. I do, however go to the person with contrition and sorrow.

If she didn't do this, it was a pretty lousy ammend. But regardless, you can get free of her if you want to. If you really want to, you'll do something really strange for her. You'll pray that she finds all the peace, happiness, joy, and yes...abundance, that you would hope to have in your own life.

You do that for her, everyday for 14 days straight... and see if a miracle doesn't happen. Don't do that though, if you don't want her to get well. It's a weird paradox. If you don't believe in God noway nohow, do it anyway. What do ya got to lose?

In the meantime, check this out; Just bear through the 1st five minutes of it before you judge it, please.

04-27-2009, 11:33 AM	#3 (permalink)
McGowdog Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Southern Colorado Posts: 1,174	Wow! If I were in your shoes, I'd probably have a resentment myself. She doesn't seem like a beacon of spirituality just yet. That's the perfect example of a line in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 82; "The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man (or woman, my addition) is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, 'Don't see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain't it grand the wind stopped blowin.?" So, if she's still a tornado, I'd distance myself and family from her as best as possible, but, I'm no parent. I only have an opinion on that. I don't know how long she's been sober, but clearing up the wreckage of our past can be like peeling an onion. Her awareness may not be all that and a bag of chips just yet. If she stays on this path and if it takes and she truly recovers... and there's any hope that God will do for her what she cannot do for herself, then if she's slick enough to tear it down, she'll be slick enough to help build it back. Or, she'll stay sick and die someday... probably sooner than later. But in the meantime, you can get free of your pain and resentment to her and I suggest you do JUST THAT for you and your children, not her. Do you agree with that? When I make ammends to someone, I say something to the effect; "I've done this, this, this, and this to you. Do you need to express to me how this has harmed you? What would you add that I might have ommited? What can I do to set these matters straight?" I don't remember using the word "sorry" in an ammend. I do, however go to the person with contrition and sorrow. If she didn't do this, it was a pretty lousy ammend. But regardless, you can get free of her if you want to. If you really want to, you'll do something really strange for her. You'll pray that she finds all the peace, happiness, joy, and yes...abundance, that you would hope to have in your own life. You do that for her, everyday for 14 days straight... and see if a miracle doesn't happen. Don't do that though, if you don't want her to get well. It's a weird paradox. If you don't believe in God noway nohow, do it anyway. What do ya got to lose? In the meantime, check this out; Just bear through the 1st five minutes of it before you judge it, please.