When I come across character defects that I am ambivalent about having removed, how I go about "praying for the willingness to be willing" is pretty simply just to hold the problem gently in my mind and, whenever I pray or meditate or whenever the defect comes up in my life and I notice it, just kind of like put it out there to HP as something that I need help with.
And then, of course, I have to be patient and wait -- which I
totally hate.
It's been really important to me, in these kinds of situations, not to try to force willingness, or get all obsessive about it, or all down on myself about it. For me, any of that just seems to exaggerate the problem and keep me from any real movement on it...and, since what I'm basically asking for here is a shift in my attitude and perspective on the defect and its "place" in my life, behavior that increases rigidity or results in a fixation but limits movement and openness is really counter-productive for me.
Here are links to 2 recent threads dealing with Step 6:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...r-defects.html (Letting go of character defects) http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-6-a.html (step 6)
Unfortunately, it seems to be a step that it is kind of difficult to get people to share much ES&H on --- which, I suppose, rather supports the idea that it really
does separate the men from the boys.
Good luck!
freya
P.S. Also, you might check out the Hazeldon book
Drop the Rock.