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Rowan · 04-23-2009, 08:28 PM

Tonight I received some hope.

My daughter and I have been estranged for 5 years. She is 16, and a wonderful young woman. I was not emotionally available during her younger years, due to my alcoholism, and lost her because of this.

At Christmas, she contacted me, and wanted to get together, but got cold feet a few days before we were to meet.

Tonight she contacted me and said she is ready. Gave me her cell number. Wants to get together.

This came hard on the heels of three very difficult days - days where I drove home and prayed out loud, cried, and screamed in my car - all in relation to a completely different situation. A situation that was out of my control, and I was in pain because of it.

Tonight I shared at my HG - it's all-women, so I felt safe to share from the heart. And I was left with this gaping wound - at least it felt like that. And I was reminded of how much I used to rely on drugs and alcohol, sex and relationships to make me feel better, to help me to forget.

And so - it is especially gratifying to receive such a gift as this. The gift of a daughters love and forgiveness.

Every ounce of pain and turmoil has been worth it.

Thanks to all my teachers here and in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous for sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope.

04-23-2009, 08:28 PM	#1 (permalink)
Rowan Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 12,138	Finally - some light Tonight I received some hope. My daughter and I have been estranged for 5 years. She is 16, and a wonderful young woman. I was not emotionally available during her younger years, due to my alcoholism, and lost her because of this. At Christmas, she contacted me, and wanted to get together, but got cold feet a few days before we were to meet. Tonight she contacted me and said she is ready. Gave me her cell number. Wants to get together. This came hard on the heels of three very difficult days - days where I drove home and prayed out loud, cried, and screamed in my car - all in relation to a completely different situation. A situation that was out of my control, and I was in pain because of it. Tonight I shared at my HG - it's all-women, so I felt safe to share from the heart. And I was left with this gaping wound - at least it felt like that. And I was reminded of how much I used to rely on drugs and alcohol, sex and relationships to make me feel better, to help me to forget. And so - it is especially gratifying to receive such a gift as this. The gift of a daughters love and forgiveness. Every ounce of pain and turmoil has been worth it. Thanks to all my teachers here and in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous for sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope.