I'm new and I don't know how to do the little quote boxes, but you said,
"It comes down to accepting them for what they are and deciding what they means for you. Accept that alcholism is part of who they are, that they are not going to change. This certainly seems to be the case with your friend."
I'm not sure how you can say that. Isn't that what this is all about? Finding change? Deciding that it's not all okay and looking for, and working towards, a better life? I guess I look at it like this....If my friend got cancer and decided to refuse treatment, would I stop being there friend? I guess I'm just holding on to the hope that someday he'll decide he is ready for treatment and I want to be there when that happens. Everyone else has given up on him and I know what it's like to feel like all the peole you love have jumped ship on you.
You're right though about all those questions you asked me. I think I need to do some deep thinking regarding what I get from this friendship. Thanks.