To be totally honest, I don't feel or act much differently now then I did whilst I was on subutex. If I needed it for a legitimate reason, bad chronic back pain or the like, or if I'd tried (like you did) to quit at too high a dose and couldn't handle the withdrawals, I'd probably go back on it, too.
Sure, it's addictive. Sure it produces some bad withdrawals. It's an OPIOID. You aren't addicted to 'subs', my dear, you are addicted to opioids!
Fortunately, I don't think it's all that *destructive* of a drug, when taken properly under a doctors care, personally. Its a heck of a lot cheaper and safer than being strung out on oxys or heroin, and it's far easier to have a 'normal life' on.
If you back and read your original thread, I did warn you that trying to get off of it at 8mg/day was going to be a nightmare. You must wean down to a much lower dose than that, otherwise, getting off of subs totally sucks.
And it is NOT just the acute, short-term withdrawal effects, it's the fact that they LAST seemingly forever when you try to quit off of a high dose. Gotta remember, this drug has a 60 hour half-life. When you stop at 8mg/day, it literally takes the better part of a month before the drug is completely out of your system!
So, now, you know. Don't worry about it too much, just ... do it 'right' this time, okay Tish?
You have made yourself a living example of the 'sub horror stories' that some people come on here and talk about, and like I always say ... the horror comes in when you don't properly wean off the stuff. It's that simple.