[Teggie]

I do not have chronic pain (thank god) so I am illequiped to try to understand all this.

Hubby has chronic pain.

Breif history

Has hx of alcohol abuse, when we met he said he was in AA, has not gone to many meetings since we have been together. Seperated in 2004 due to him started drinking & reconciled 2 monthes later. Not drinking now that I am aware of.

I have two children from a previous marriage we have been married for abot 8 years and have a 8 yr old son.

Hubby has neck and back issues. Had neck surgery in 2004, has spine narrowing & now thinks the neck plates in his neck are coming undone. Doesn't work a regular job, makes countertops etc but nothing regularly. I'm the primary breadwinner. We have no health insurance only have it on the kids due to limited finances.

Sees a local doc & is on

Hydrocordone 180 tabs a month
Xanax .5mg 60 tabs a month
Lyrica
Antidepressant
Ambien
BP med
Naprosyn

Tends to take the hydro not as prescribed, began to have issues with him being overmedicated & acting irrational & after confronted with it went to doc and was taken off the pills and prescribed the fentanyl patches with a smaller amout of Hydro for breakthru pain.

Was on patch for a time until I found out he was taking more Hydro with the patch on causing massive oversedation. He nearly overdosed one night, I had to pull the patch off and spent the night making sure he kept breathing. When that was over he acted like I was making the whole thing up and it wasn't as bad as I thought.

So back to the doc, off the patches, back on Hydro only with me managing the meds. Bought pill boxes set them up.

Worked for awhile until he started saying his pain wasn't being managed & he needed a higher dose. He started getting into them so I had to start hiding them & giving him one pillbox a day. And inevitably every night I would get asked for extras because of the pain.

The last few months he has been hunting and finding where they are hid and getting into them without telling me. When asked about it he says I don't understand chronic pain. And that what appears to be addiction is part of the chronic pain not being controlled.

He last got into them about a week ago & I am done. I gave the meds to him and said I'm done with it. Then he proceeded to spend the next few days totally gorked out (horrible) acting irrationally, confrontational, accusing me of having meds hidden from him, not sleeping, hunting the house for preceived meds, passsing out in front of the kids etc etc

I feel anger at him for lying to me, fear that he will overdose, fear he will harm the kids by driving with them etc, fear he will burn us up falling asleep with cigarettes.

He is now nearly out of meds I think, isn't moving much, sleeps alot, has two weeks till meds can be refilled. Is very quiet.

We are not speaking at all, he has not even offered a apology for putting me and the kids thru hell the last few days.

I'm at the end of my rope, I have to get off this rollercoaster. I go to alanon & post here in the friends & family section. I am cutting off financial support (will not buy the narcs or pay for the dr visits anymore.) I am very close to asking him to leave. I feel like I am being used & our marriage is a sham.

My question is:

How much of this is true addiction & how much is pain managment issues?

I just need some clarification in an area I am not that familiar with. Can chronic pain managment mimic addiction to this degree? I don't dispute he has pain issues but the way he is handling them is ruining me & our marriage.

Thanks