[CAPTAINZING2000]

Murphy's Laws of Sex

• Nothing improves with age.
• No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because you never know when you will get it again.
• Sex has no calories.
• Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
• There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
• No sex with anyone in the same office.
• A man in the house is worth two in the street.
• If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
• Virginity can be cured.
• When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
• Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
• The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
• Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
• It is always the wrong time of month.
• Sex is hereditary.If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
• Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
• The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
• It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
• Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
• There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing like it.
• Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
• Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
• Do it only with the best.
• Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
• What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
• Never say no.
• Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
• Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
• Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
• Love comes in spurts.
• Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
• Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
• Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.