DiMedici

aGrandma,

This is a bit long, but hang in there, read it and "take what you need and leave the rest"?

Hello, my name is DiMedici and I'm and alcoholic.

I have a desire to stop drinking, which is the only requirement for membership in Alcoholics Anonymous according to Tradition 3 - no one can take that away, except me.

That said, and the 90 meeting in 90 days, get a sponsor - or at least start talking to people about it and how they do it, get their numbers and actually call someone daily until there is a daily sponsor for the first year.

Suggestions all, but very important to my success. I did what they told me and I'm here now to help!

When my first 90 meetings in the first 90 days with the daily call, talk and meet sponsor that I found after 3 months - 90 days - was finished, he asked me what I was going to do next. I told him I was going to take a vacation - kidding. He was about to fall out of his chair thinking I was planning to drink.

Once we got it that it was a joke - and we are funny in AA sometimes - he asked me again. I asked him what I should do. He told me to do another one. To this I replied, actually I'm going to do a 90 and 90 or 180 and 90 and not a 360 in 90! And we all laughed - there were some listeners around by then, we had such a good time that we drew people in.

Someone told me to give the program 1 full year before making any decision regarding being an alcoholic. It turns out that there are people who relapse all the time, and they take those who struggle at certain points with them.

It is common to have a hard time at regular intervals. The only way to beat that cycle and get to the next one is to call people, attend meetings and talk about it, ask questions, read the big book, actually work the steps with a sponsor...

Once we beat the 90 days sober target we shoot for 6 months, then 9 months and then 1 year and multiple years of sobriety. Once we have a year sober we may continue to experience difficulty at certain times of the year - birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, vacations, 3-6-9 months periods and at the year! Often people comment regarding multiple years that their hardest year was the year that you say you are in now and everyone gets it real good. Honestly, this can all be true.

We suffer from alcoholism and a host of other outside issues irritate that. It is best to seek medical help to quiet the mind, but in my experience, a good sponsor who walks you through 90 and 90s and the steps and takes late night calls is your best bet.

Additionally, any family member who does not go to Al Anon to understand their role in the tangle is likely a great point of frustration for the alcoholic. Don't kid yourself Al Anon's, you too need a 90 and 90 and a sponsor and to work the steps. There is no other way you can encourage a spouse to fight one without it!

Go for it!

DiMedici