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Originally Posted by GiveLove  Oh yeah, you bet. I found my lack of eye contact (both listening and speaking) one of the things that dragged on the longest....it was so automatic, half the time I wasn't even aware I was doing it. |
I started noticing it when I came back to work. I can look clients in the eye once I'm on a roll and talking about what I know though. I think it's because I know and love law and I'm totally focused on helping the client so I'm in my comfort zone, whereas when I talk about myself or put forward new ideas to bosses I'm definitely not. I don't feel like I'll be rejected by the clients. It probably comes down to who the authority figures are.
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Originally Posted by GiveLove That's what I mean about counseling, and finding the right person: I keep a journal, write in it regularly though not all the time. It once came up in my scribblings that I was feeling really small and weak because I never made eye contact with people. So I walked into my counselor's office one day and said, "How do I fix this? What are some small, graduated steps I can take to teach myself a new behavior?" That's what a good counselor will give you: Homework  |
I've never needed a journal thanks to a photographic memory combined with a huge amount of self-analysis!
Other than that, that's exactly what I'm thinking about counselling. Saying 'these are the things I've already spotted. How do I learn new behaviour and let go of the old ways of thinking?'
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Originally Posted by GiveLove I STILL find myself doing it from time to time, and I just have to shrug it off and try harder next time to work the steps again. We are all just works in progress, hiding  |
But that's the difference between us and our alcoholic parents. We try to learn and change and believe that it will bring us a better future. They've just given up. You'll get there and so will I and when we do we won't stagnate because we know that life is all about changing for the better.