I can see how the dynamic of being either the golden child or the black sheep can be awful and how it gets started as children but in our case, as adults, neither child can do anything right. Talking to my brother a couple of years ago it came out that each of us thought the other was the favourite but that was really because we weren't paying enough attention to how the other was being treated. Nothing either of us says or does is valid in his mind. If I say anything (no matter how minor) my dad says the opposite, regardless of what he really thinks. A typical example was at dinner (probably another horrible Christmas moment) when I said something, he disagreed, a couple of minutes later my mum repeated what I'd said and he agreed with her. It's not quite as bad as that for my brother but that's only because he doesn't speak as much so he doesn't leave himself open to the inevitable disagreement. Even then, dad still finds ways to dig at him. I think he wants us to be a disappointment to justify his own behaviour. You know, 'look at all I've done for them and they're worthless. It's no wonder I drink to get through the day.'