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Originally Posted by nelco  Good Morning Stone 
A couple of Questions for you. You mentioned in the first post that you got 6 months sober while on "Bottoms" and it ended 2008. How did you feel depression wise and tired wise as the months went on?? Also, can you remember what brought you back to drink. In A.A they say we slip in our thinking etc long before we pick up a drink. Did you get fed up, get down, get resentful or angry about anything? Or had you just got restless, irritable and discontentent as mentioned in Big book??
Was there anything there you can learn from? Did you put anything in place last time or make any changes?
This is something you could work on. When I was drinking, I changed doctor often , i know your case may be different, but I was running and hiding, and did not really want anyone to know me fully even a doctor, plus they start trying to help me if I Kept going (god forbid) just give me the tablets so I can sleep!! When I got sober...it was suggested to me to find a doc and stick with him. I did that and it works for me. I must say though, since I got sober I seldom need the doc(fingers crossed) I was on anti-depressants etc and for me drink was a big part of my depression. I did not have that lingering depression you talk about, although I got very high and very low.....all or nothing. I just had to learn to slow down and balance out a lot of stuff. I either did not care or I was over-reacting.....It was the same with every area of my life for a while.
NOW im perfect  ....(not) |
How did I feel tired-wise and depression-wise?The tiredness got better slowly, it wasn't as bad at the start as it is now though.
Mood-wise was awful, I had been on a 3 months mega-bender and was all over the place due to that for a month or two, after that it started to get better but at 6 months I was very depressed, which contributed to...
What brought me back to the drink, I wasn't craving or obsessing at the time, hadn't for a month or two. It was partly the depression and partly out of denial, I didn't want to be an alkie, I wanted to see if I could control it (lol). I did kinda control it for 6 months and then...it went out of control again. It always WILL! I think I have accepted that now.
So, how much does the drink affect my depression and what I think might be bi-polar? Obviously it makes it worse but I had the symptoms before I became a full on alkie, in fact I had them all my life, even as a kid. SO I am pretty sure that I will still have it even when I have been sober a number of years.
It might, however be best to get sober for a year before seeing anybody about it because in the first year (or more) my moods are going to be very affected by quitting drinking. It would skew any psychiatric evaluation.