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Hey Bartender,
I can relate to parts of what you said as far as never losing a job, family, etc., but you've gone farther down the scale than I have because you've been back out and tried to improve on your story. And, maybe that's why you've gone back out. You don't believe you qualify yet! You don't have to qualify!! We all have the choice of stopping the digging at any depth of the hole. You said your wife believes you'll stay sober for another year. That's nuts! You believe you can go out and drink periodically and come back. That's nuts too!! There's no guarantee that the next time you go out you'll make it back and then where does that leave your wife and family? It doesn't matter what anyone says about your sobriety. Personally, I think you're denying that fact that your drinking history is good enough as it is. You don't ever have to take another drink. You say you don't understand step one, or can't relate to it. If alcohol isn't more powerful than you, why do you keep drinking it? When you drink, you get drunk! Alcohol makes you drunk, just as it did me and that makes it more powerful than I am. I never stopped after that first drink. Thank about it man. Stop trying to impress AAs by digging a deeper hole. It's not necessary.
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