 out of the madness
well im finally back home. 3 days clean feeling all whacked out. non stop drugs & booze but thanks to sr managed to stay clean. was so much pressure on me to play tried to avoid as much as possible it was hard. if I want to do this & I do I must avoid friends & family. had a nice fling with a school teacher who was really nice. she just called crying saying she missed me & all. she helped me cool down and help get me out of a loony house. my own family resented me for going with her. all guys who keep insisting I go party with them. when im sober I can't take there crazyness. they all have a lot of good bullshit & r always tring to get over on somebody. this weekend there all going up to the country for more partying. had to come up with excuse not to go. some r court ordered to attend meetings, but is just a joke to them. im going to duck them and start hitting meetings tomorrow. im just venting here cause I had 72 days. I got use to all the honesty in the rooms and can't deal wiyh all my shady friends and fam. I seem to be a magnet for all the nutjobs. I was going along with step 1 but now i know I have no control once start drinking & druging. so I guess I REALLY did learn somethig for all this.
thanks for letting me rant. going to order chinese and read big book & sober living all over again. but I don't understand with all the tools I picked up here and at meetings I forgot all of them hp meditating jft dailly aa readings. well I will get up and do it again still didn't call sponsor will do it tomorrow
peace to all and thaks again
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