Loves, of your original post, this is what sticks out (and bothers me): "Diagnosed bi-polar... from a doctor who knew me for no more than about 5 minutes." And then nandm's post about meds not supposed to numb you, raises some red flags. Be aware that doctors can misdiagnose.
I was involved with someone who presented some strange behaviors from the start. In the beginning, she was on Lexapro (slept a lot, seemed to be emotionally void... flat as you say, etc.) 6 mos. into the relationship she decided to quit the Lexapro, slowly at first and then suddenly, cold turkey. (She also expressed not wanting to go through life "numb.") Unfortunately, that's when everything started to fall apart. After a few more months of craziness, I realized it wasn't me... so I gathered the facts/symptoms, etc., did my own research and came up with Borderline Personality Disorder, which can co-occur with bi-polar, depression, OCD, etc. When I confronted her, she said she'd been told she might have Bipolar (she does have OCD). More research on my part tells me that Lexapro is contraindicated for bipolars. (I think she was taking it for depression?) Based on my experiences with her, I still believe she is mainly BPD. From what I've researched, BPD can often be mis-diagnosed as Bipolar. Treatments are different but if people present with both or more illnesses they need to be monitored carefully.
I guess the main point I want to make is that doctors make mistakes and misdiagnose and the patients pay dearly for those mistakes, sometimes for years. If the original diagnosis was made 5 mins. after dr. met you... have you been re-evaluated since then? I'm sure you know all this, but here goes anyways: patients need to take an active role in their wellness program: educate themselves about these illnesses and learn about the different management methods that exist; actively co-partner with their primary healthcare provider to figure out what works (what doesn't) and what will improve the quality of their lives. And if like you say, there are supportive family members/partners, enlist them to assist in pinpointing behaviors that patients may not even be aware of (GF did many things she wasn't aware of), and also enlist them to help the patient in the management process.
I'm stepping off the soap box now!
(I hope I haven't offended anyone, this is just something near and dear to my heart as it affects not only the person with the illness, but those who love them. Maybe my new career can be patient advocate.)
Take care of yourself.
elena