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Ann Thank you, I really needed a reminder that I have a loving Creator who watches over me. I had a very bad day yesterday. It started out with a bounced check notice from the bank, I went over my figures and it was my mistake, that mistake cost me $40. Who say's we don't have to be perfect, I guess we don't if we don't care if we give money to the bank that we can't afford. When I do something like that I have no mercy on myself, I will
go from anger to self pity.
I haven't played the blame game for a long time, so I have to take responsibility for my own mistakes. I do without anything that isn't necessary, to make sure I have enough to pay bills, or to have gas for meetings ect. That $10. a week is really going to hurt, and I will have the whole month to remind myself it was nobody else's fault but mine, and I have to learn from that mistake. I am so close on my budget, my checkbook has to be perfect.
What really scared me was the old self destruct stink'in think'in, telling me if I threw that money away, why not throw every thing away, why even try I'll just screw it up. My disease is alive and watching for me to set myself up. As usually happen's when I get honest and write something out in front God and another person, I get a clearer understanding, I now realize that $40. just opened the door to all the anger that was caused by the frustrations of making mistakes that really cost me in the past, and the fear of making more. I am stuck in this place of fear and thought I had let it go and accepted it.
Ann In your post knowing that God will be there for us, no matter what we face, I felt the urge to just start writing and see where it goes, I normally do this type of in depth self work at home, but once I start I want to follow it through, which I was able to do. I was going to delete it since it has served it's purpose, but I will leave it up to you.
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