It has been my expereince that while drinking is a symptom of alcoholism, it also has a set of certain behaviors usually present in both the person with the illness and in the family who surrounds them. I.e. Need to control. Dishonesty. Nameless fears. Low self esteem. Big ego. Lack of personal responsibilty etc... The list goes on and on.
I think in the 12 x 12 (? or living sober) there is a story about how someone conducted some kind of test on alcoholics and the main thing we all had in common was that we were grandious and childish. Or it may have been grandious and defiant. I don't recall. Always rang true to me though.
