Quote:
Originally Posted by serenityqueen  I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well for you. I have heard of asperger syndrome, but unsure of what it is.
Judy |
Here's what you need to know: It's like I have no social skills whatsoever, to the extreme. That and being a former junkie/alkie is an interesting combination. I just want to make friends and have relationships like other people my age do. That's a big part of why I got sober. My problem is two-fold: I have difficulty making or keeping friends/relationships because I don't drink or do drugs anymore, and because of the aspergers. So even when I meet someone who accepts that I don't party, they push me away because I don't have the social skills to advance a friendship or relationship.
The relationship part is the worst. I have tried to date many times in sobriety, but can't keep a girl for more than a few dates at most. I never tell them about AS, because then they'll just get scared and write me off. That and my past is a lot to deal with. Not that we ever get that far. I have dated a couple girls in AA, which I would not do again.
The only thing that gives me hope in life is that I am sober and can work. I am intelligent and have a university degree, but so far I just get terrible jobs. I'm currently working nightshifts in a liquor store in the "ghetto" part of my town, and am probably going to work drilling rigs this fall. I am used to being alone in life so most days I don't care, but some days I break down inside from the loneliness and frustration. It pisses me off when I see other young people with less sobriety than me say how great life is and having fun with all their non AA friends and having relationships, and I just get desperate sometimes. I got so lonely I did things I never though I would do.
I'll think about finding a new counselor. Maybe he/she can help a little.