I recently had a dream regarding a roomate of mine in college, we had our own issues with drinking. One night before I graduated in 2002 we got into a fist fight and never spoke afterwards. I had a strange dream of calm and friendship where i was helping him with building a house or something. It is maybe a message that I am where I need to be now, in a nice mindset free of the evils of drinking. The past is the past, we pave the way for the future. I feel you totally with this delima you are facing.