Hi there FrmlyStgbr, and pleased to "meet" you
I've had heart and brain surgery, have a terminal condition called "Autonomic Neuropathy" and will be on pain meds for the rest of my life. I am also quite scared about the pain meds, and have shared at my meets about it. I've done everything you mentioned.
Because I cannot stop the pain meds my docs "rotate" me from one to the next every year. Last year it was Lortab, this year it's Tramadol. I keep a journal where I record every med I take; date, time, reason, and keep it on the kitchen counter for my friends and sponsor to see any time they want... and to show the doc how I'm doing.
I've found a few other people in the rooms who are also dealing with chronic pain, and we've made our own "Special Purpose" group over cofee at the local eatery.
Basically, I just got even deeper into the fellowship and into recovery and I've had no problems at all with the meds.
Welcome again, and congratulations on still being alive and kicking. You beat Cancer and that's a big deal.
Mike