Don't begrudge yourself these feelings, laff. It sounds like there is still a strong desire in you to feel those emotions again - to feel the comfort of having someone by your side who shares the warm weather, the garden, fishing. I found that until I filled that now-empty space with something more joyful, I kept wanting to go backward just to feel those feelings again. It was one part breaking the mental habit, one part clue about what I needed to keep looking for, for myself.
Those obsessions will fade in their own time. You've made such good progress with making them 'few and far between' - the rest will come in time.
