Thanks! I must sound like a crazy person as no one else even knew what to reply. haha well going between love and hate like this probably does make people a bit crazy I suppose. His email to me explaining that he couldn't do the deed with his new gf is what set all this off, he said he couldn't because it has just been him and I for so long. And that made me feel like I was giving up on us, and he has been my man for half of my life! But man oh man it has been so long, and even though he still wants me (why shouldn't he- I was awesome to him!) he takes no responsibility for any of his actions, and I simply cant be with someone who is like that, and who chooses not to learn from mistakes, or to grow from them.
SO then I have my 14 year old daughter who has chosen to go back to the home state to live with him. I tried to get full custody and couldn't
She wants to be with her friends and her boyfriend there, and so I have to send her back and try to ensure her safety with "rules" of parenting for him to follow, knowing that he probably won't follow through, he never has before, but thenI can just hope that she will see him for how he really is and come back to me. This is the hardest part. I have to stay here to protect my little one from him, she is only 1 and doesn't need to know any of this craziness.
Anyway, the 3 c's I will keep them in mind, thanks for the reply!