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Originally Posted by Marigolds  I am having a hard figuring out how I contributed to the mess ----I have a lot of anxiety and depression and it's sort of a chicken and egg thing - which came first? I am sure my anxiety/depression contributed to his drinking, but so did his drinking to my anxiety/depression. How do I put an end to the vicious cycle? |
Hi Marigolds. The three c's are: You didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you can't control it. YOU had nothing to do with his drinking. I have had some rotten things happen to me in my life...really horrible....and never did any of those things CAUSE me to drink. Just like you can't force him to quit and get healthy you do not have the power to make him pick up that drink. He is in charge of that.
You ask good questions. How do you put an end to the vicious cycle? Like I said you have no control over him. You can only work on you and your own inner vicious cycle. Things like why did you allow yourself to be treated disrespectfully, why did you not love and care for yourself, why did you think you deserved so little????