Hi WomanFriend.. thanks for your reply
One thing I am unshakeable about is that the way we have been for the last year can't continue. That will require effort on my part as well as his.
I'm also unshakeable in my own recovery. I know that I need to keep going back to Al-Anon. I know that I need to stop the one foot in the past, one foot in the future and peeing on my present that has been implicit in my rock bottom. I can't go back to the way it was. (I suppose at this point I should mention that the A in my life is in recovery, in a programme and has not had a drink for over two years).
You have hit the nail on the head about letting him hold the decision. That is how I am feeling right now. Have I handed over my 'power'? My intention is to avoid ignoring what is happening (we've done enough of that) and address it: hence me thinking we are in some kind of limbo and one of us has to say 'what is going on here'.. 'are
we saying we are willing to work it out'. If we're not working it out (whatever that entails) then I am leaving. I suppose I'm just trying to find out which one it is.
The stinkin' thinkin' is trying to work out why he has sent such an ambiguous text... lol