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Read the Codependency section- it opened my eyes to a lot of behaviors I have that contribute to these situations (by allowing me to get into them in the first place).
Setting clear boundaries for myself in regard to what my core values in any relationship mean to me, and take steps to follow through with them. The boundary sections really highlight this: When "X" happens it is unacceptable to me, if "X" happens again I will "X". Most of my boundaries end with me leaving.
My x husband was the equivalent of a dry drunk. He was also from an abusive alcoholic family and our two codependent personalities did not jive. He was at the extreme edge of verbal and emotional abuse. Not a day went by that I wasn't a b*tch or a c*nt. I always set my boundary and threatened my action, but never followed through with it. He learned he could continue, I learned that I needed a better system.
Eventually I followed through with my threatened action. He immediately sought counseling, was treated for his depression, and is on the road to being a better man and father. He lost me in the end, but he gained himself.
Good luck on your self exploration adventure (often the hardest journey to take).. you'll get a lot of support here!
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