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It's not easy being a single parent but you will adjust. Be patient with yourself and don't expect anything close to perfection. Setting a schedule for getting the major cleaning done can help but a bigger help is to allow yourself to live with a certain levels of disarray around the apartment. Messiness is fine really. It shows you are putting your time into more important things IMO.
As for him, if he doesn't want to set a schedule, he doesn't want to see the kids as I see it. He is continuing his self centered, "let the world revolve around me" garbage it seems.
One of the mistakes I made in my first divorce was allowing my ex convince me that I shouldn't have contact with his parents. I still wish I hadn't listened to him. If I were you, I would talk to your in laws unless they specifically ask you not to. He may just be trying to control you and prevent you from being honest with his parents.
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I trust you are capable of handling your own life and I now stop interfering by trying to rescue you.
There's only one corner of the universe you can be sure of improving, and that's your own self. - Aldous Huxley
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