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You are being honest with yourself and you are examining why you feel as you do. It is painful. But as painful as it is, you are not in denial and that certainly indicates that you are willing to accept life on life's terms.
It those little things that used to trigger me when I was surviving one day at a time after I left my exAH. I'd hear a certain song, I'd smell some guy wearing the same cologne. Or I'd run into one of our mutual friends. It took about 18 months for me to really get on with the business of living. But during that time I got better. The days that were good began to outweigh the bad.
Keep ranting if you feel the need to do so. It sounds as if you are moving in a healthy direction.
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