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my friend......sorry to hear about the job....i hate walking past my pigeon hole at the moment......waiting for the brown evelope..or not.
"How the hell did i get into all this"........said it a few times to myself especially towards the end...Moments of clarity
The realization that it ain't me x wifes fault....or loss of job fault....or society's fault......this was about booze and me..
That awful space where i couldn't live with it or without it.....
I had a good job....good friends....good wife.....all the cars i could eat...
none of it sobered me up......by the time i did.....all the material stuff had gone.
I believe for me.....i had to loose it all....it was part of my bottom..
I'm not saying for a minute thats the same for everyone but for me i needed to hit the ground hard...
You probably know oxford.....they have a night shelter there for vagrants.
That where my drinking took me...if not a door way
If you didn't sleep with your shoes on they would get stolen and the beds were full of lice..no joke.
That was ten years ago......ive been sober for 8 and a half..
The answer to my dilema.........AA and the twelve step program...
i needed a program...i just couldn't manage sober without it and god i tried.
Buy a big book....read it....and read it again....get wrapped around people that live there lives according to the twelve steps..
i have no knowledge of other programs and self help groups but other people here are sober and happy using them too.
The main point I'm trying to get across is....just not drinking wasn't enough for me...i tried it...and got drunk time and time again.
Today life is different......and i am free.......i have no monkey on my back.
I'm married to a lovely wife.....red head so keeps me in line..lol..lol.
I'm working in a job i wanted to do since i was a kid.
i have two daughters...
All the material stuff has returned.........and life is good.
I also have a close relationship with god.....i couldn't do this without him...
But thats for me..
One foot in front of the other.......with a open mind and some willingness and your gonna be just fine.
time to open your arms to a new life.........enjoy it...........trucker.
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