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dotcom · 04-29-2004, 11:08 AM

Help! I have just been feeling (for a long time) that I am completely incapable of handling life. i am chronically disorganized, so much so that i dont even want to go home and see the s***. i am stressed beyond belief and when i stress i dont eat and when i dont eat my stomach gets upset. so what if i dont use anymore. i cannot remember to brush my teeth in the morning. i have got myself into the rythm of brushing flossing and rinsing at nigt but it is so difficult. stupid sounding you say? well, it is like moving a mountain or something. i cannot get to bed at a reasonable hour, i try. i usually end up in bed by 11 or 12 and then next day i am a wreck. i try to get ready for the next day at night, but i cannot organize my thoughts to do it. maybe i get a lunch packed once in 5 months and that is a miracle. money spending was through the roof a week ago, but ive calmed that down. then the next day i say it will be different and it never is. i cannot go on like this. so what if im doing good at work and school. my life is more than clean time, work and school. it is nonexistant in fact! the "life" i live is just a bunch of confusion and distress. running in circles just being happy i dont spend my check on dope anymore. and... i cannot f****** make my bed. i do manage to choke down vitamins and acne meds every day, that i can remember. but i cannot get into a healthy ryhthm of things. therapy doesnt help. i hate therapy in fact. just another thing to get lost trying to find the office, then forgetting the payment, then stressing over getting it to her, then losing my appetite and eventually saying f it. i cannot function in "my world". i can hold a job and even do school, but i cannot get my life together. today im wigging out and its just so frustrating. i can hold it together for other people but when it comes to taking care of myself and doing simple tasks im a complete mess. i think im disabled or something. i dont care though. if this continues im checking into a mental hospital or at least just not coming home for a few days for the sake of gathering whats left of my marbles.

thanks for listening

04-29-2004, 11:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
dotcom Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: laughing at my avatar Posts: 1,636	A Mental Mess! Help! I have just been feeling (for a long time) that I am completely incapable of handling life. i am chronically disorganized, so much so that i dont even want to go home and see the s*. i am stressed beyond belief and when i stress i dont eat and when i dont eat my stomach gets upset. so what if i dont use anymore. i cannot remember to brush my teeth in the morning. i have got myself into the rythm of brushing flossing and rinsing at nigt but it is so difficult. stupid sounding you say? well, it is like moving a mountain or something. i cannot get to bed at a reasonable hour, i try. i usually end up in bed by 11 or 12 and then next day i am a wreck. i try to get ready for the next day at night, but i cannot organize my thoughts to do it. maybe i get a lunch packed once in 5 months and that is a miracle. money spending was through the roof a week ago, but ive calmed that down. then the next day i say it will be different and it never is. i cannot go on like this. so what if im doing good at work and school. my life is more than clean time, work and school. it is nonexistant in fact! the "life" i live is just a bunch of confusion and distress. running in circles just being happy i dont spend my check on dope anymore. and... i cannot f**** make my bed. i do manage to choke down vitamins and acne meds every day, that i can remember. but i cannot get into a healthy ryhthm of things. therapy doesnt help. i hate therapy in fact. just another thing to get lost trying to find the office, then forgetting the payment, then stressing over getting it to her, then losing my appetite and eventually saying f it. i cannot function in "my world". i can hold a job and even do school, but i cannot get my life together. today im wigging out and its just so frustrating. i can hold it together for other people but when it comes to taking care of myself and doing simple tasks im a complete mess. i think im disabled or something. i dont care though. if this continues im checking into a mental hospital or at least just not coming home for a few days for the sake of gathering whats left of my marbles. thanks for listening __________________ probably not.