SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

JusToday · 03-05-2009, 10:24 AM

1. REMEMBER YOUR LAST DRUNK/DRUG EPISODE:
Don't forget the hell you have been through. Dont allow minimizing or illusions of how simply "good" it was to creep in. Don't forget where you came from and why you needed treatment and help. You'll probably never forget how "wonderful" your first highs were, so (even more so) you can't allow yourself to ever forget how miserable really were INSIDE and where you were in the end.

2. USE THE 24 HOUR PLAN:
Stay clean and sober just for today. Don't worry about staying sober for the rest of you life. Don't burden yourself with the discouraging task of never using again. At times it may be focusing on just one hour at a time or even a each minute at a time, but keep your focus on the NOW. You can't stay clean for tomorrow or next week, but YOU CAN stay clean and sober for just for TODAY.

3. GO TO MEETINGS:
Regularly attendance at AA or NA meetings will greatly increase your chances of staying straight. Visit as many as you can each week (especially in early recovery). The simple truth is, whether we like it or not, we CANNOT do this on our own. There is no such thing as the "Lone-Ranger" Recovering Addict. Why? Because he just leaves and goes back uses again. Yes, it can be awkward meeting new people. Some groups may even turn you off or not fit all your "ideal" or expectations of what it should be like. But you keep looking, because they are out there. Many people just like you in all stages of recovery. Whatever you do, don’t give up on this one...it is way too important.

4. FIND A SPONSOR:
Continuing along the lines of "there is no Lone-Ranger recovering addict", we need to have someone who is not just acquainted with you, but (particularly early on) someone who can stand by your side in this recovery process. Someone who had been through what you are going through and who is committed to be there for you through your recovery. I know...I know...you think it will be hard finding someone like that...not as hard as you think. When you are working no. 3 on this list you will find that most support groups even have a list of people who are willing to be immediate temporary sponsors. Yes, it is a risk and it may take some time finding someone you really think is the right person to ask, but don't give up on it.

(Side Note: Keep your expectations realistically balanced with your need for a healthy recovery. Yes...caution is good, but don't just look for the "perfect" choice in personality and even how they look. Talk to some who have been around awhile and ask who they think might be a good fit. I hope that came across right.)

"The greatest oak tree was once a little nut who held its ground." ~That cool Author Unknown person again

5. TEMPTATION & URGES ARE TEMPORARY - "THIS TOO SHALL PASS"
It is critical to remember during the urges and times of temptation to use...that they do not last. The urge or thought to use can often seem like its a permanent leach attached to you, but it not. It is an illusion fed on by our addiction. Remember these words that have helped me and many others, "This too shall pass". The great hope and life saving light at the end of the tunnel for us is this fact. Urges and temptations will pass and in a short time more often then not. "Taking it one day at a time." is a great way for us to find hope that we can, just for this day, make it clean and sober. In the same way, we can handle these when we take them one urge/temptation at a time.

6. DON'T THINK...RUN!
Some times when the temptation to use raises it ugly head (and it will many times) there are times when it or the situation can be so intimidating removing yourself is the best option. There are times that we can mentally work through the emotions and temptations of an urge, but there will be times when you and I are simply weaker for whatever reason and at those times your best option to stay sober is to get the hell out of there as fast as you can. No thinking about it or playing around with the temptation of what is before you...run!

7. AVOID RESENTMENTS
Resentment can breed a false sense of being in "in the right", powerful and important. This is a luxury that, we in recovery, cannot afford. Resentment, simply put, is poison. It can quickly permeate your emotions and thinking and be a stepping stone to using. See letting go and forgiving as an important part of your recovery also. Its hard, but very freeing and it can be done.

8. WATCH OUT FOR SELF PITY
Self-pity is not only useless, but even dangerous for our recovery. It is like quicksand. If you stay in it long enough you will go under. Put a real effort into thinking positive. A relatively easy first step is always to start off finding things that you can be thankful for. Don't allow self pity to cloud your thinking and convince you that "whoa-is-me...I don't know what to be thankful for." You could always start with - your alive and not dead (when many of us in recovery well know that we could of been several times over by now). There are many other things to be thankful for if we just think it through for a moment.

9. AVOID COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS:
Simply put, comparing yourself to others usually leads you to feel better than others or lesser than others. The results is either pride and arrogance or envy and self-pity. As you know, these things are stepping stones to relapse and using.

The only useful comparison you can make is to compare yourself TODAY with how you were yesterday. You will either see progress or a need for change. Bottom line...our "eyes" stay where they need to be...on ourselves.

Why waste your time comparing yourself with others when it can be so misleading and full of incorrect assumptions? Chew on this thought...Don't we tend to compare our own "insides" with only what we can presume is on another persons' "outside"?

9. BE CAUTIOUS OF CELEBRATIONS
The reality is that we are, at some point, going to find ourselves obligated to attend gatherings where alcohol and possibility drugs can be present. Weddings, funerals, holiday parties with family or co-workers for example. At these times, you need to be very careful. BEFORE you even go, IF you are feeling that you will tempted too much to use...DON'T second guess yourself! ("Oh, maybe I can handle it..." has been regrettable thinking for me in the past) DON'T GO...if at all possible. If for some reason, you must, protect your recovery. For example, bring someone supportive of your recovery with you. Another thing I have personally done when I am maybe feeling somewhat vulnerable or uncomfortable with a situation is to call my sponsor before I go into a situation and I call him right when I leave (or once I called while I was still at a gathering). PLEASE... just don't rely on "winging-it" to get you through.

Now, for some of us, not going to some of these things can hurt your reputation or your relationship with your family or friends. If i can speak forcefully for a moment...WHO CARES! There is NOTHING more important than your on-going recovery. I have heard some say, "But I'm being so selfish." and to that I have to say, "Absolutely!". But its a two sided coin...this selfishness in recovery. Selfishly, keep your recovery first and you will be a better person, co-worker, husband/wife, parent, and friend. Here's some good solid TRUTH to EMBRACE: As you and I keep our recovery #1 there are so many awesome transformations that take place in us as a person. Here's another cool TRUTH: The "fruit" of this apparent "selfishness" in our recovery is we become the very opposite of selfish. As we become healthier and healthier we naturally start to become a REAL person of character to our children, our family and friends. They will thank you and respect you for it more than you know (even if many of them wont ever say it )

10. BE CAUTIOUS OF CELEBRATIONS (Continued)
After thinking about the whole topic of "celebrations" I started to see another area in my life that this something I deal with in my recovery. It has to do with the cautions of the mental/emotional side of celebrating. In other words, there have been times (and continue to) that I am having a good day or that I did have come through a temptation to relapse and use victorious. It is good to enjoy and remember any good day or difficult urge we came through unscathed. But it's in those times of celebrating that I have also caught myself also lowering my "guard" so to speak. Sort of relaxing a bit and the urge to reward one's self or celebrate a bit can lead me to actually put me right back in a dangerous place. Not to make this confusing, but I have found it an important thing to keep in mind for at least myself.

In boxing, a small strike with the lead hand to the opponent is typically called a jab and you will see boxers use it alot. What his opponent has to do is to keep two things in mind about that jab: (1) Keep your guard up. A smart striker knows too keep both of his hand up near their head to guard his head and not low to their waist. (2) He has to keep in mind that this lead jab he is succesfully dodging at the moment has another sneaky and dangerous purpose. A jab is, often times, used to actually help set the opponents attention away from the much more powerful and painful cross punch (Sorry for the illustration for you non-boxing fans, its just what came to mind for me).

In the same way, on a number of occasions in the past, I have been that guy successfully dodging the jabs coming at me. I also tend to find myself feeling pretty good about that as well, while still cautious of those big cross punches that can come. Every once in awhile though, I have caught myself feeling pretty good that I have been dodging the jabs of life and addiction and then "POW!" I get hit by a right cross that just hurts. Why'd this happen? Because I lowered my guard and didn't stay alert anymore.

With that in mind, you do have a lot to be proud of for sticking it out with the "fight for your recovery". If you have been clean and sober for 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months, it takes an unbelievable amount of strength and courage to do what you do. You are a hero in my book. BUT, always keep a guarded stance with how you're doing, even when you are doing well.

11. ACCEPT HELP!:
Far too often refusing to ask for help seemed to be the one thing that could of prevented me from relapse. Unfortunately, we seem to come up with 100 reasons why we need to not ask for help when we so often do. The funny and sad thing is when you look at many of our reasons after the fact they seem pretty ridiculous.

From the fear of what people will think of us, procrastination or the ridiculous notion that we can handle it ourselves...they are ways of thinking we must put an end to. "No man is an island" is so true here. And in this case we are NOT each on our own little island. The fact is its an island with a bunch of us addicts and alcoholics on the same island living on it together. END the cycle and temptation in your life to not reach out fight for your recovery by reaching out to those who can help you. You will be pleasantly surprised how things will go for you when you ask someone for HELP.

12. KEEP SOBRIETY YOUR #1 GOAL
When you were drinking and/or using your commitment to getting drunk or high came before anything and anyone else. In recovery, your commitment to sobriety must come first, before anyone or anything else. Those who allow their sobriety to take second place, soon lose sight of it altogether. Many of us doubt (especially early in recovery) that we aren't sure if we have what it takes to be sober, but just isn't true. When you consider how much energy, passion, creativity and commitment we had to our vise...there is no reason to question IF we have it in us. It is a matter of gradually tapping into that as we get healthy.

Think about it in terms of having a life long disease also. For example, if you have diabetes (I am sorry anyone that does have it) you don’t put off or forget to take your insulin, because you know that if you do, things can turn from good to bad very quickly. It is something that you have to integrate as a vital part of your life to enjoy living from now on. The good news is it isn’t burdensome as some may think…it actually becomes a great source for personal growth and enjoying life!

03-05-2009, 10:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
JusToday Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: WI Posts: 41 Blog Entries: 4	Relapse Prevention Tool Box (Collection) 1. REMEMBER YOUR LAST DRUNK/DRUG EPISODE: Don't forget the hell you have been through. Dont allow minimizing or illusions of how simply "good" it was to creep in. Don't forget where you came from and why you needed treatment and help. You'll probably never forget how "wonderful" your first highs were, so (even more so) you can't allow yourself to ever forget how miserable really were INSIDE and where you were in the end. 2. USE THE 24 HOUR PLAN: Stay clean and sober just for today. Don't worry about staying sober for the rest of you life. Don't burden yourself with the discouraging task of never using again. At times it may be focusing on just one hour at a time or even a each minute at a time, but keep your focus on the NOW. You can't stay clean for tomorrow or next week, but YOU CAN stay clean and sober for just for TODAY. 3. GO TO MEETINGS: Regularly attendance at AA or NA meetings will greatly increase your chances of staying straight. Visit as many as you can each week (especially in early recovery). The simple truth is, whether we like it or not, we CANNOT do this on our own. There is no such thing as the "Lone-Ranger" Recovering Addict. Why? Because he just leaves and goes back uses again. Yes, it can be awkward meeting new people. Some groups may even turn you off or not fit all your "ideal" or expectations of what it should be like. But you keep looking, because they are out there. Many people just like you in all stages of recovery. Whatever you do, don’t give up on this one...it is way too important. 4. FIND A SPONSOR: Continuing along the lines of "there is no Lone-Ranger recovering addict", we need to have someone who is not just acquainted with you, but (particularly early on) someone who can stand by your side in this recovery process. Someone who had been through what you are going through and who is committed to be there for you through your recovery. I know...I know...you think it will be hard finding someone like that...not as hard as you think. When you are working no. 3 on this list you will find that most support groups even have a list of people who are willing to be immediate temporary sponsors. Yes, it is a risk and it may take some time finding someone you really think is the right person to ask, but don't give up on it. (Side Note: Keep your expectations realistically balanced with your need for a healthy recovery. Yes...caution is good, but don't just look for the "perfect" choice in personality and even how they look. Talk to some who have been around awhile and ask who they think might be a good fit. I hope that came across right.) "The greatest oak tree was once a little nut who held its ground." ~That cool Author Unknown person again 5. TEMPTATION & URGES ARE TEMPORARY - "THIS TOO SHALL PASS" It is critical to remember during the urges and times of temptation to use...that they do not last. The urge or thought to use can often seem like its a permanent leach attached to you, but it not. It is an illusion fed on by our addiction. Remember these words that have helped me and many others, "This too shall pass". The great hope and life saving light at the end of the tunnel for us is this fact. Urges and temptations will pass and in a short time more often then not. "Taking it one day at a time." is a great way for us to find hope that we can, just for this day, make it clean and sober. In the same way, we can handle these when we take them one urge/temptation at a time. 6. DON'T THINK...RUN! Some times when the temptation to use raises it ugly head (and it will many times) there are times when it or the situation can be so intimidating removing yourself is the best option. There are times that we can mentally work through the emotions and temptations of an urge, but there will be times when you and I are simply weaker for whatever reason and at those times your best option to stay sober is to get the hell out of there as fast as you can. No thinking about it or playing around with the temptation of what is before you...run! 7. AVOID RESENTMENTS Resentment can breed a false sense of being in "in the right", powerful and important. This is a luxury that, we in recovery, cannot afford. Resentment, simply put, is poison. It can quickly permeate your emotions and thinking and be a stepping stone to using. See letting go and forgiving as an important part of your recovery also. Its hard, but very freeing and it can be done. 8. WATCH OUT FOR SELF PITY Self-pity is not only useless, but even dangerous for our recovery. It is like quicksand. If you stay in it long enough you will go under. Put a real effort into thinking positive. A relatively easy first step is always to start off finding things that you can be thankful for. Don't allow self pity to cloud your thinking and convince you that "whoa-is-me...I don't know what to be thankful for." You could always start with - your alive and not dead (when many of us in recovery well know that we could of been several times over by now). There are many other things to be thankful for if we just think it through for a moment. 9. AVOID COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS: Simply put, comparing yourself to others usually leads you to feel better than others or lesser than others. The results is either pride and arrogance or envy and self-pity. As you know, these things are stepping stones to relapse and using. The only useful comparison you can make is to compare yourself TODAY with how you were yesterday. You will either see progress or a need for change. Bottom line...our "eyes" stay where they need to be...on ourselves. Why waste your time comparing yourself with others when it can be so misleading and full of incorrect assumptions? Chew on this thought...Don't we tend to compare our own "insides" with only what we can presume is on another persons' "outside"? 9. BE CAUTIOUS OF CELEBRATIONS The reality is that we are, at some point, going to find ourselves obligated to attend gatherings where alcohol and possibility drugs can be present. Weddings, funerals, holiday parties with family or co-workers for example. At these times, you need to be very careful. BEFORE you even go, IF you are feeling that you will tempted too much to use...DON'T second guess yourself! ("Oh, maybe I can handle it..." has been regrettable thinking for me in the past) DON'T GO...if at all possible. If for some reason, you must, protect your recovery. For example, bring someone supportive of your recovery with you. Another thing I have personally done when I am maybe feeling somewhat vulnerable or uncomfortable with a situation is to call my sponsor before I go into a situation and I call him right when I leave (or once I called while I was still at a gathering). PLEASE... just don't rely on "winging-it" to get you through. Now, for some of us, not going to some of these things can hurt your reputation or your relationship with your family or friends. If i can speak forcefully for a moment...WHO CARES! There is NOTHING more important than your on-going recovery. I have heard some say, "But I'm being so selfish." and to that I have to say, "Absolutely!". But its a two sided coin...this selfishness in recovery. Selfishly, keep your recovery first and you will be a better person, co-worker, husband/wife, parent, and friend. Here's some good solid TRUTH to EMBRACE: As you and I keep our recovery #1 there are so many awesome transformations that take place in us as a person. Here's another cool TRUTH: The "fruit" of this apparent "selfishness" in our recovery is we become the very opposite of selfish. As we become healthier and healthier we naturally start to become a REAL person of character to our children, our family and friends. They will thank you and respect you for it more than you know (even if many of them wont ever say it ) 10. BE CAUTIOUS OF CELEBRATIONS (Continued) After thinking about the whole topic of "celebrations" I started to see another area in my life that this something I deal with in my recovery. It has to do with the cautions of the mental/emotional side of celebrating. In other words, there have been times (and continue to) that I am having a good day or that I did have come through a temptation to relapse and use victorious. It is good to enjoy and remember any good day or difficult urge we came through unscathed. But it's in those times of celebrating that I have also caught myself also lowering my "guard" so to speak. Sort of relaxing a bit and the urge to reward one's self or celebrate a bit can lead me to actually put me right back in a dangerous place. Not to make this confusing, but I have found it an important thing to keep in mind for at least myself. In boxing, a small strike with the lead hand to the opponent is typically called a jab and you will see boxers use it alot. What his opponent has to do is to keep two things in mind about that jab: (1) Keep your guard up. A smart striker knows too keep both of his hand up near their head to guard his head and not low to their waist. (2) He has to keep in mind that this lead jab he is succesfully dodging at the moment has another sneaky and dangerous purpose. A jab is, often times, used to actually help set the opponents attention away from the much more powerful and painful cross punch (Sorry for the illustration for you non-boxing fans, its just what came to mind for me). In the same way, on a number of occasions in the past, I have been that guy successfully dodging the jabs coming at me. I also tend to find myself feeling pretty good about that as well, while still cautious of those big cross punches that can come. Every once in awhile though, I have caught myself feeling pretty good that I have been dodging the jabs of life and addiction and then "POW!" I get hit by a right cross that just hurts. Why'd this happen? Because I lowered my guard and didn't stay alert anymore. With that in mind, you do have a lot to be proud of for sticking it out with the "fight for your recovery". If you have been clean and sober for 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months, it takes an unbelievable amount of strength and courage to do what you do. You are a hero in my book. BUT, always keep a guarded stance with how you're doing, even when you are doing well. 11. ACCEPT HELP!: Far too often refusing to ask for help seemed to be the one thing that could of prevented me from relapse. Unfortunately, we seem to come up with 100 reasons why we need to not ask for help when we so often do. The funny and sad thing is when you look at many of our reasons after the fact they seem pretty ridiculous. From the fear of what people will think of us, procrastination or the ridiculous notion that we can handle it ourselves...they are ways of thinking we must put an end to. "No man is an island" is so true here. And in this case we are NOT each on our own little island. The fact is its an island with a bunch of us addicts and alcoholics on the same island living on it together. END the cycle and temptation in your life to not reach out fight for your recovery by reaching out to those who can help you. You will be pleasantly surprised how things will go for you when you ask someone for HELP. 12. KEEP SOBRIETY YOUR #1 GOAL When you were drinking and/or using your commitment to getting drunk or high came before anything and anyone else. In recovery, your commitment to sobriety must come first, before anyone or anything else. Those who allow their sobriety to take second place, soon lose sight of it altogether. Many of us doubt (especially early in recovery) that we aren't sure if we have what it takes to be sober, but just isn't true. When you consider how much energy, passion, creativity and commitment we had to our vise...there is no reason to question IF we have it in us. It is a matter of gradually tapping into that as we get healthy. Think about it in terms of having a life long disease also. For example, if you have diabetes (I am sorry anyone that does have it) you don’t put off or forget to take your insulin, because you know that if you do, things can turn from good to bad very quickly. It is something that you have to integrate as a vital part of your life to enjoy living from now on. The good news is it isn’t burdensome as some may think…it actually becomes a great source for personal growth and enjoying life!