[paulmh]

Is it just me or is SR a bit toxic at the moment?

I took a bit of a haitus over Christmas and into February, since I've been coming back more regularly it seems like there are lots and lots and LOTS of opportunities to practice my tolerance and acceptance! In fact, maybe a few too many - given how worn my tolerance and acceptance feels! And I notice that many of the old 12 step people hardly ever post anymore too - I wonder if that's just part of the natural cycle of things, or if their T & A is a bit strained also!

Previously I'd never had need to put anyone on "Ignore", but currently I have two people there, people who just never seem to be able to pass up a conversation about 12 step recovery without putting in their two cents. I suppose that's the nature of "conversations" in cyber space - everyone passing by is free to make a contribution! (And that's only as it should be!). But I still don't like doing it - but at the same time, if I have to read them over and over and over again, I end up feeling like I don't want to be here.

Which I suppose is making me ask myself a question about 12 stepping. When I go on a 12 step call it's because someone has phoned our office, who in turn phone me and I go out. There has been a tacit invitation from someone who wants to find out more about AA. On the other hand, hospital work involves 12 stepping someone who can't get away (lol) and who might not have asked for us! Lots of PI work is with groups and organisations who could potentially refer still suffering alcoholics, same with HL. Prison work I don't know about. Regardless, we have various ways of connecting with still suffering alcoholics who want to find out more about what happened to us.

What I'm getting at is this. Many people who come to SR aren't looking for AA. They're looking for solutions to their alcohol problem. Many, if not most, are not yet at the stage where they are sufficiently desperate to be asking for AA's number. They haven't tried all other avenues. Hell, didn't most of us try everything else first too? Didn't we have to try everything else?

So. We have a responsibility to share our ESH with the still suffering alcoholic - and to take whatever **** they choose to throw at us in return. Because we too are here under sufferance. We might know that many of us have far more experience of both alcoholism and of recovery. But that doesn't mean in any way that we have any additional entitlement. One day at a time, and anonymously.

And equally we need to be aware of the fact that many people - problem drinkers or alcoholics - successfully get off the train before the second to last stop that is AA. We're only responsible for what we give back to people, not for what they give us. And if they're sober for twenty years and they hate AA - that's their prerogative.

I'm going to try to just ignore all of the AA bashing that's going on here just now - not out of some saintly sense of transcendence, but just because if people need to feel like that, they need to feel like that. Taking it on is just going to make me, and possibly them, feel more entrenched. But while I have every possible belief in our primary purpose, it doesn't mean that every alcoholic wants to hear it.

Thanks everyone for the insight and comprehension and example you bring to SR.