idontknow1,
Welcome to SR and the nicotine forum!
There's no reason to hate yourself for not succeeding in your quit yet. Indeed, studies clearly indicate that the majority of us quit multiple times before we "get it" and quit for good. I was quit for over two years and relapsed. So, put that nonsense away, and recognize that you're human; no worse and no better than the rest of us, ok?
There's a bunch of stickies up top of the forum. I hope you'll take the time to look them over. Then, come on to the daily check in thread. There you will get to know a bunch of good folks, supporting each other in their quits and cheering each other on. Hope to see you there.
Shalom!