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backporchpoet · 02-27-2009, 06:33 AM

I have a question for anyone that has an opinion.

I am a lesbian. I've been out since I was 14. Long story short, ended up having a son at the age of 22. Now, I am very butch. Not overweight, shaved head butch...I just look like a male model out of an American Eagle catalog haha. My partner is more feminine than me, but not extremely girly in any way. My son has never been exposed to make-up, jewelry, or skirts and dresses. At least not in my home.

About a year ago, my sisters came over and we all watched Sleeping Beauty, my son included. He was about 2 at the time. Little by little, he began asking me for pink dresses, and purses, and make-up. Over the past year, he has become obsessed with princess things. He is asking to grow his hair out, he wears big t-shirts around the house insisting they are dresses, and his once boy-ish room is now covered in princess posters and pages ripped from a princess coloring book that he has taped onto his wall. He likes strawberry ice cream and strawberry milk, just because they are pink. He owns about 4 or 5 barbies that he takes everywhere with him.

And every night he dances for about 2 or 3 hours to "Single Ladies" by Beyonce and "Love Story" by Taylor Swift....and the Taylor Swift song he has insisted is he favorite because she has a line in it where she says "You be the Prince and I'll be the Princess". Now, I took dance classes for 12 years growing up. I thoroughly enjoyed tap and jazz but as part of the requirement to compete, I had to take ballet. I HATED ballet. I COULD NOT make my body move so gracefully no matter how hard I tried. Now, my son dances ever so gracefully, fluttering around the family room with his "dress" on and the movements he can do with his body at 3 are beyond feminine.

I understand that some little boys go through a princess phase or dabble in things that we assume girls would typically like. But this has been going on for about a year now and he has become increasingly interested in princess paraphernalia.

I am a firm believer that people are born gay. I know it's too early to label my son, but clearly I wouldn't have a problem with him if he turned out to be gay, even though I hope for his sake he isn't.

I guess my worry is that I feel that there is a stereotype out there in society that gay parents will raise gay children. I mean, I could understand if my son saw me wearing dresses and wanted to be like Mommy, but that's not the case. He is not attempting to imitate me in any way. So I have no idea where this obsession with princess things is coming from unless it's truly what he find enjoyable.

Do you think I should continue to let my son indulge in his princess desires? Half hearted attempts to lure him into the world of GI Joes and Lightning McQueen have failed miserably. Do you think if he turns out to be gay, he might turn around and blame me for letting him have a few barbies as a kid or that people will think I "forced" homosexuality on him?

02-27-2009, 06:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
backporchpoet Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 46	Gay Parents Raising Gay Children I have a question for anyone that has an opinion. I am a lesbian. I've been out since I was 14. Long story short, ended up having a son at the age of 22. Now, I am very butch. Not overweight, shaved head butch...I just look like a male model out of an American Eagle catalog haha. My partner is more feminine than me, but not extremely girly in any way. My son has never been exposed to make-up, jewelry, or skirts and dresses. At least not in my home. About a year ago, my sisters came over and we all watched Sleeping Beauty, my son included. He was about 2 at the time. Little by little, he began asking me for pink dresses, and purses, and make-up. Over the past year, he has become obsessed with princess things. He is asking to grow his hair out, he wears big t-shirts around the house insisting they are dresses, and his once boy-ish room is now covered in princess posters and pages ripped from a princess coloring book that he has taped onto his wall. He likes strawberry ice cream and strawberry milk, just because they are pink. He owns about 4 or 5 barbies that he takes everywhere with him. And every night he dances for about 2 or 3 hours to "Single Ladies" by Beyonce and "Love Story" by Taylor Swift....and the Taylor Swift song he has insisted is he favorite because she has a line in it where she says "You be the Prince and I'll be the Princess". Now, I took dance classes for 12 years growing up. I thoroughly enjoyed tap and jazz but as part of the requirement to compete, I had to take ballet. I HATED ballet. I COULD NOT make my body move so gracefully no matter how hard I tried. Now, my son dances ever so gracefully, fluttering around the family room with his "dress" on and the movements he can do with his body at 3 are beyond feminine. I understand that some little boys go through a princess phase or dabble in things that we assume girls would typically like. But this has been going on for about a year now and he has become increasingly interested in princess paraphernalia. I am a firm believer that people are born gay. I know it's too early to label my son, but clearly I wouldn't have a problem with him if he turned out to be gay, even though I hope for his sake he isn't. I guess my worry is that I feel that there is a stereotype out there in society that gay parents will raise gay children. I mean, I could understand if my son saw me wearing dresses and wanted to be like Mommy, but that's not the case. He is not attempting to imitate me in any way. So I have no idea where this obsession with princess things is coming from unless it's truly what he find enjoyable. Do you think I should continue to let my son indulge in his princess desires? Half hearted attempts to lure him into the world of GI Joes and Lightning McQueen have failed miserably. Do you think if he turns out to be gay, he might turn around and blame me for letting him have a few barbies as a kid or that people will think I "forced" homosexuality on him?