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Hi elso,
I've only been sober for a few days, however I have had situations that required making some hard choices as far as honoring the marital vows we pledge to honor when we marry. It's a two-way street, so we have to ask ourselves how we would feel if the roles were reversed. How would you feel if your wife were screwing around on you? The best way to deal with this type of lover's triangle is to let go of one relationship before getting involved in another. At some point, the lady you are involved with from AA will begin to ask herself if she can really trust someone who is screwing around on his wife, by being with her. Being dishonest erodes the trust that is necessary in any relationship. Without trust, you don't have much of a relationship, at least not one of any value. Can your new lady trust you when she is not new anymore? Considering that this is your second affair, she has to wonder just what it is that you are really up to. That is not benficial for any healthy relationship, and what's the point of having just another fling? Flings ultimately end up as a waste of time, money, and effort, and innocent people get hurt. The bottom line is, how much damage do you want to cause?
My suggestion wuld be to really do some soul-searching here, to determine who you want to be with. Once you figure that out, do it, and try not to cause more damage than you already have. The damage we cause others comes back to us in spades.
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