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elso · 02-25-2009, 03:26 PM

Hello,
I have been with my wife for nearly 9 years and married for the last 3.5 years. For most of that time I hid my drug and alcohol problems from her and lived a dishonest double life of chemical abuse. After 2 rehab stints I finally found the willingness to surrender and I now have just over 1 year clean and sober after 25 yrs of self abuse. I have fully dived into the AA fellowship and without all of my new friends and meetings (at least 5 per week) I would not have been able to make it this far. It has been very rough on my wife (who drinks occasionally, definitely not an addict) on my new life. She is upset that I am never around and when I am that it has become drudgery. She is upset that I get my support from AA and AA friends/sponsor and not her. She also refuses to go to Al Anon. Also, I continue to engage in dishonest behavior. Something I never did in active addiction was have extra marital affairs. I now find myself getting emotionally involved with other women in the program and this has really been an issue with my wife. I ended all contact with the first one 6 months ago, but I have now found myself in the exact same situation now. I fear that i am really falling for this new person. We seem to have more in common with my new life. She kicked me out last week when she found out about it and I moved into my own apt. But she wants me back and I don't know what to do as I am now engrossed with this new woman (we have not slept together). Anyone with advice?

02-25-2009, 03:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
elso Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 5	Need marital advice Hello, I have been with my wife for nearly 9 years and married for the last 3.5 years. For most of that time I hid my drug and alcohol problems from her and lived a dishonest double life of chemical abuse. After 2 rehab stints I finally found the willingness to surrender and I now have just over 1 year clean and sober after 25 yrs of self abuse. I have fully dived into the AA fellowship and without all of my new friends and meetings (at least 5 per week) I would not have been able to make it this far. It has been very rough on my wife (who drinks occasionally, definitely not an addict) on my new life. She is upset that I am never around and when I am that it has become drudgery. She is upset that I get my support from AA and AA friends/sponsor and not her. She also refuses to go to Al Anon. Also, I continue to engage in dishonest behavior. Something I never did in active addiction was have extra marital affairs. I now find myself getting emotionally involved with other women in the program and this has really been an issue with my wife. I ended all contact with the first one 6 months ago, but I have now found myself in the exact same situation now. I fear that i am really falling for this new person. We seem to have more in common with my new life. She kicked me out last week when she found out about it and I moved into my own apt. But she wants me back and I don't know what to do as I am now engrossed with this new woman (we have not slept together). Anyone with advice?