SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - super passive aggressive fight with sponsor..

kj3880 · 02-22-2009, 08:55 PM

Your sponsor isn't there to tell you who to have for friends. She's supposed to be a guide to the 12 steps. That being said, my sponsor often makes helpful suggestions for me about how to be more connected with the fellowship. And she worries when I say that I have a hard time fitting in, that I'm trying to disqualify myself as an addict. This can be a real danger to me.

I truly have had a much different life than most addicts in my area. I never lost a job or a home or even a friend over using. It was a brief period of time where I abused prescription pain pills. I stopped because I knew it would get worse if I didn't. But I want to recover and learn to deal with my feelings.

I want what my sponsor has: serenity, a healthy relationship, happiness. So I have to do what she does in her recovery. Part of what she does is participating in the fellowship. I don't know everything about recovery, so I'm trying my hardest to be a part of NA in ways she suggests. Trying to stay connected with other recovering women addicts and focus on our similarities. Trying to be of service to new women. Trying to open up with people in meetings and on the phone, even though there are some differences between us. The fact that we have clean friends outside the recovery community only can add to our recovery and our joyful life but it doesn't mean that we don't need the fellowship of other addicts.

If you want what your sponsor has, you'd be wise to give her suggestions a good college try. It can be very uncomfortable to let down our walls and get to know other addicts in recovery, particularly when many of them had a lot of "street time" and maybe we didn't, but your friendships with other recovering addicts can be some of the deepest and richest you will ever experience. Don't miss out on it! Let their street experience keep you connected to what can happen if you go back out. Keep coming back! I suggest for you to go to a convention if you have not. There you will see the fellowship in action, and you may very well want to be more a part of it!
Love,
KJ

02-22-2009, 08:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 3,002	Your sponsor isn't there to tell you who to have for friends. She's supposed to be a guide to the 12 steps. That being said, my sponsor often makes helpful suggestions for me about how to be more connected with the fellowship. And she worries when I say that I have a hard time fitting in, that I'm trying to disqualify myself as an addict. This can be a real danger to me. I truly have had a much different life than most addicts in my area. I never lost a job or a home or even a friend over using. It was a brief period of time where I abused prescription pain pills. I stopped because I knew it would get worse if I didn't. But I want to recover and learn to deal with my feelings. I want what my sponsor has: serenity, a healthy relationship, happiness. So I have to do what she does in her recovery. Part of what she does is participating in the fellowship. I don't know everything about recovery, so I'm trying my hardest to be a part of NA in ways she suggests. Trying to stay connected with other recovering women addicts and focus on our similarities. Trying to be of service to new women. Trying to open up with people in meetings and on the phone, even though there are some differences between us. The fact that we have clean friends outside the recovery community only can add to our recovery and our joyful life but it doesn't mean that we don't need the fellowship of other addicts. If you want what your sponsor has, you'd be wise to give her suggestions a good college try. It can be very uncomfortable to let down our walls and get to know other addicts in recovery, particularly when many of them had a lot of "street time" and maybe we didn't, but your friendships with other recovering addicts can be some of the deepest and richest you will ever experience. Don't miss out on it! Let their street experience keep you connected to what can happen if you go back out. Keep coming back! I suggest for you to go to a convention if you have not. There you will see the fellowship in action, and you may very well want to be more a part of it! Love, KJ