[Juls]

Runninfree,

I hope you can find success with your new med combination. However, I have no clue as to either of those. My combination is different, but works for me. There's more than one way to look at your feelings of inadequacy when it comes to your life, and that you weren't able to complete your marathon. One thing, is we do choose how we feel about ourselves, and how we let things affect our life. It's easy to say (but not easy to do), oh, don't get so down on yourself," and that is correct. That kind of thinking gets you nowhere but in the same hole your in, but that is also a choice. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but it is what I've learned over my lifetime. Why you are making that choice may be hard to figure out, but you can choose to feel and think differently about yourself. Not running the marathon does not make you a failure. You can keep trying. I've always wanted to run one, and I still never have (I'm 49, just turned), but that doesn't mean I won't. And if I die and have never run a marathon, that doesn't make my life a failure. Everyday we have to make a conscisous choice of how we are going to face our days, and the attitudes we will embrace. It is not easy, and some days impossible for me to have a good attitude, but the more I work at it, the easier it becomes. I no longer am filled with so much self-doubt, self-hatred, and self-recriminations. I don't know how old you are, but maybe it is an age thing, that I've finally come to a point in my life where I no longer have to beat myself up for the things that I want to accomplish that don't get accomplished, and can feel good about what I have accomplished. I've also learned to some extent to stop comparing my life to others. Although I recently backed out on a dinner invitation to a co-worker because I thought my house wouln't be perfect enough for her. I've never been to her house, but just from knowing her at work, I know her house is perfectly decorated with nothing out of place. (She has not kids, LOL) I love my house, but it's definitely not something from Better Homes and Gardens, LOL.

I hope you find peace within yourself, and love and understanding for who and what you are.

Brent and others,

I have had the same problems with typing long replies and losing them, so what I do now is copy them (Ctrl C) before I post. That way if something goes wrong with my computer or server, I can still post them.

Juls