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lander · 02-19-2009, 01:53 PM

I just started my step 4 a few days ago. I won’t say I fully understand the process or have a great grasp of all the finer points of this step or even the whole program. That’s why I have a sponsor who is guiding me thru the steps and I am grateful for that.

I do understand that the 4th step is about clearing away anger and resentments from the past.

I had a first hand experience with the burdens of my past coming back to haunt me and it just showed me how important this 4th step is.

A few months ago I wrote a letter that was never intended to be sent, it was just a therapeutic letter to get out all my emotional negativity that I was feeling at that moment out.

However, instead of throwing the letter away or burning it I hid the letter.

Then the person that it was written to accidently found it and read it. This situation caused so much turmoil for both of us and I felt terrible.

It hit me today that this is the same problem that has always been going on for me. I hold onto my emotional baggage just like I held onto that letter and in the end it will always come back to haunt me and cause pain to those around me no matter how well I hide it or how deep down I put it. It will always come back unless I throw it away. Unless I really get rid of it.

That is the importance of the fourth step…getting rid of negative feelings of the past and being able to move on with out the past coming back to hurt you over and over.

I think god had him find that letter to show me the importance of working the program.

Also, on a positive note, because of the drama and pain the finding of the letter caused he started going to al anon which I am so grateful for.

Even though I though everything in my life had come to an end and my relationship was over and everything was terrible I held onto my higher power and things turned out to not be as bad as I thought they were and good things came from them.

02-19-2009, 01:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
lander Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: nashville, tn Posts: 8	A 4th Step Experience I just started my step 4 a few days ago. I won’t say I fully understand the process or have a great grasp of all the finer points of this step or even the whole program. That’s why I have a sponsor who is guiding me thru the steps and I am grateful for that. I do understand that the 4th step is about clearing away anger and resentments from the past. I had a first hand experience with the burdens of my past coming back to haunt me and it just showed me how important this 4th step is. A few months ago I wrote a letter that was never intended to be sent, it was just a therapeutic letter to get out all my emotional negativity that I was feeling at that moment out. However, instead of throwing the letter away or burning it I hid the letter. Then the person that it was written to accidently found it and read it. This situation caused so much turmoil for both of us and I felt terrible. It hit me today that this is the same problem that has always been going on for me. I hold onto my emotional baggage just like I held onto that letter and in the end it will always come back to haunt me and cause pain to those around me no matter how well I hide it or how deep down I put it. It will always come back unless I throw it away. Unless I really get rid of it. That is the importance of the fourth step…getting rid of negative feelings of the past and being able to move on with out the past coming back to hurt you over and over. I think god had him find that letter to show me the importance of working the program. Also, on a positive note, because of the drama and pain the finding of the letter caused he started going to al anon which I am so grateful for. Even though I though everything in my life had come to an end and my relationship was over and everything was terrible I held onto my higher power and things turned out to not be as bad as I thought they were and good things came from them.